separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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