I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
