Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
