You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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