Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
