Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
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