he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We need to get me chipped asap
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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