I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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