mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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