yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
