finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
