she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
