my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
