first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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