when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
