whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize