dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
