$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
