It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
