so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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