just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
