you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We talked him into tasing himself.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
