you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Randomize
