hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
