you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
