I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
