so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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