Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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