I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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