I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
