I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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