did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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