why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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