his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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