So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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