Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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