Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
