Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
