i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
