If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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