Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
