So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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