OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize