It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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