I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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