We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
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You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
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We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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