Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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