You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
