just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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