Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
