I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
