I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This baby is an asshole
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize