Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
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Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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