Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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