He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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