This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
