shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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