I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
