I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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